Adventures at WNYX!
by Goldenrod Lockhart
Summary: Join the staff of WNYX as they go through chapters of misadventures you'd never see on the tv show.
1. Bad day or is there a Doctor here!

Hello, everyone. This is Author Golden Lockhart here. I've been turned back onto the funny yet unfortunately underrated Tv series, NewsRadio. So one day, I am just sitting around. An idea then popped into my head: What if I were to make a story of quickies centered around the staff of WNYX? Well, I now have access to a computer to type on and I can upload them somewhere else so why not? What you are about to read is chapter after chapter of zany, random tales of what goes on around the office of WNYX. So sit back and relax as I bring you another presentation. Entitled:

Adventures At WNYX!

Just know that I do not own any of the characters in this feature except any original characters that comes out of my head. Now let's enjoy!

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Matthew Brock sat at his desk with his arms wrapped around him, shivering. Lisa Miller, a co-worker of his, came up to him.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"I'm shivering." Matthew replied.

"Shivering?" Lisa asked, her eyebrow raised.

"Uh huh." Matthew replied. Dave Nelson came over.

"What's with him?" Dave asked.

"He's shivering." Lisa told him.

"What? It's nearly 100 degrees out there." Dave said.

"You guys should be shivering, too." Matthew said.

"Why?" Dave asked.

"Because this is cold opening." Matthew told then, deadpan. Dave and Lisa fell back into a chair, exasperated.

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The familiar theme song then came on with the microphone in the background. The microphone fell over and someone picked it up and put it right side up again.

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**Episode 1: Bad Day or Is There a Doctor in the Station?!**

"No there isn't a Doctor here." Dave said in response to the title. He and a few others were sitting in his office.

"Well, maybe one will show up later." Joe Garelli guessed.

"Well, what will we need one for?" Dave asked. They all glanced over at Matthew, who was playing a Game Boy.

"Nah. He won't get hurt." Dave said. More like hoped.

"Who's gonna have a bad day?" Evelyn McNeel asked. "Please call me 'Bill'."

"You are if you don't get out there! Got me on there by myself..." Catherine Duke said as she burst into the room. She saw Bill's real name and smirked. "Better yet, just take your time." Catherine ran out to the booth.

"She's going to announce your real name on the air." Dave said.

"No, she's not." Bill said. Dave turned on a radio on his desk.

"In the stock market today, there is an Evelyn chance that the Big Internet and Literature Library might make it. That's right and Evelyn though B.I.L.L will make it, there may be a chance that B.I.L.L will Evelyn have a new expansion to his-it's bottom floor." came Catherine's voice over the radio.

"Naw. She's just doing her job." Bill said, waving his hand dismissively. Dave raised his eyebrow.

"Hey, guys!" Jimmy James said cheerfully as he entered the office. Everyone get up and ran over to him.

"Mr. James!" they all shouted.

"Um...what the heck?" Mr. James asked.

"Hey, Mr. James." Beth said.

"Yeah, how you doing, man?" Joe asked.

"Mr. James, haven't I been I good little boy?" Matthew asked.

"What are you all doing? Get off!" Mr. James shouted and shook them off of him. They all landed in a random place: Matthew in a wastebasket, Joe under Dave's desk, Beth out the window and somehow, Dave in a Drawer.

"What was that about? Why are you all so dang excited in seeing me?" Mr. James asked.

"I don't know, now could someone help me out of this stupid drawer?!" came Dave's muffled voice.

The WNYX staffers sat at the meeting table. Dave came out of his office and sat down at the head of it.

"Before we go on to our business, I would like to ask a few questions about the title of this episode." Dave said.

"What are you doing?" Matthew asked incredulously.

"I'm just wondering-." Dave started.

"No. You can't do that!" Matthew said.

"W-why not?" Dave asked confused.

"You're smashing the heck of the fourth wall!" Matthew warned.

"Yeah. You're kinda reachin' out the screen there." Bill said.

"Guys. That's just an expression." Dave said. _Crack!_ "What was that?"

"That was the fourth wall cracking. Who knows what will happen if the thing breaks down completely." Catherine said.

"Oh?" Dave said, a smirk forming.

"Dave! Don't!" Joe shouted.

"Hi, there! I'm Dave Nelson! I am very glad that we have viewers who enjoy our misadventures at WNYX." Dave said, facing the viewers/readers.

"Dave, stop." Bill warned.

"I am also glad that our show's had enough viewers to the point where there are now stories being written about us. Just like this one." Dave continued. _CRACK!_ The noise came even louder.

"Dave!" Beth yelled. "You're having italics appear!"

"Beth!" Lisa shouted.

"And although I feel that our show should've went on for much longer, I am also thankful that we were able to do what we've done so far." Dave went on. Catherine smacked Bill.

"OW! What the heck was that for?" Bill whined. Everyone else smacked him. "Come on now! You act as if I have something to do with it when I don't. Whatsoever!"

"Anyway, had the show went on, here are some things that I think should have went on." Dave took out a list and began to read from it: "Dave takes all of the money from a crying Mr. James and becomes a millionaire. He gets married and have lots of children."

"Remember? That did happen." Catherine said. "It was a fantasy episode."

"Oh yeah." Dave remembered. He shrugged and continued to read from the list. "Dave goes berserk and kills everyone but Mr. James, to who he gives a list of demands to. Mr. James gives in and first plays ball with Dave. Then, they go fishing afterwhich, they-

"Wasn't that the fifth episode of season eight?" Lisa asked.

"Oh..." Dave said. "I wonder if they know the show is still going on but they just can't see it. We've had a lot things happen."

"Yeah, it's a shame viewers have to miss out on that. Like in the tenth season when I was tricked into eating a cactus and then vomited up needles and stuff." Bill reminisced. "Good times..."

"Um...Bill, Honey." Catherine started nervously. "Didn't you...um...pass on and get replaced in the fifth season?"

"What?" Bill asked, nearly laughing. "Passed on?! Replaced?1 That's absurd!"

"That question comes from the one who left in the fourth season." Joe muttered, glacing over to Catherine.

"And see? That's what put our show into trouble in the first place." Dave said.

"Wait. So, if I'm 'dead' and I was replaced then why am I still here and where is this 'replacement'?" Bill asked. Max Louis walked into the room.

"Sorry, I'm late. So did I miss anything?" Max asked as he took his seat.

"I won't miss having my foot going up your-" Bill started.

"See? Someone likes everyone to the point where it is possible that Bill and Max is in the same room." Dave explained.

"Don't forget I'm supposed to be 'gone'." Catherine snickered.

"That, too." Dave said. Apparently, everyone had forgotten that they were supposed to keep the fourth wall intact because pieces of it fell out of it.

"Ok, I think we need to stop now." Lisa said. Everyone was silent.

"...I also think that maybe if the producers had fought harder against our treatment from-" Dave went on.

"_Dave!_" Everyone shouted. Dave blushed and sat down. Mr. James came out.

"What's going on out here? I hear a lot of cracking noises-" he started to say but was suddenly rushed by the other staffers.

"Mr. James, I've drawn you a bath, sir." Matthew said and held up a drawing of a bathtub with bubbles coming from it.

"Hey, you seem hungry. Want my lunch?" Max asked as he held up a lunch bag.

"Mr. James, do you want _my_ lunch? It won't give you a life threatening illness." Bill asked him.

"Hey, those shoes look dusty. Someone get my oil!" Joe said.

"Woah! Woah! Woah! Wait! Wait! Wait! Stop! Stop! Stop! Hold it ! Hold it! Hold it! Just a minute! Just a minute! Just a minute!" Mr. James said, wanting to hurt whoever just had him say that.

"Yes? Yes? Yes?" asked the others.

"Look. Look. Look. Now. Now. Now..." Mr. James started before staring at the viewers/readers with an angry look. "Now...what is going on here? Why are you rushing me like that? Just before, you couldn't care less if I was alive or not? Now, what's going on?"

"Well...I'm not going to lie, sir." Dave started, "You've been seeming like you're down about something."

"Yes. Is something wrong?" Catherine asked.

"Yeah, you can tell us." Joe said. Everyone looked at Mr. James silently. Mr. James sighed and looked down.

"Well...If you really wanna know, I have been bothered about something." Mr. James said softly.

"What is it?" Lisa asked.

"Well...I don't know if I should tell you this. I am a little embarrassed." Mr. James said, smiling a little.

"Jimmy, we're your friends. Of course, you can tell us." Bill gently said. Mr. James moved over to a chair and sat down. Everyone watched as he pulled out a picture and looked longily at it.

"Who's that?" Matthew asked, very sincerely.

"This is-" Mr. James started to say but the commercial break started.

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"Be sure to catch 'The Office' in it's new 2 hour format. Thursdays on NBC!" said an announcer.

"Tonight! Jay interviews the entire cast of 'The Office', who will perform skits in full wardrobe!" said another announcer.

"In theaters this spring! 'The Office' finally hits the big screen!" said another announcer.

"You're David Brent?" Michael asked him.

"And are you Michael Scott?" David asked.

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Everyone stared water-eyed at Mr. James, who had tears on his face as well.

"Well...That's it." Mr. James said.

"Oh!" Beth wailed as she threw herself into his arm and started sobbing.

"Why...sir. I didn't know this at all. I-I'm really sorry to hear that." Dave said.

"Dave..." Mr. James said quietly.

"Yes?" Dave asked.

"Dave..." Mr. James said, holding up his arms for a hug.

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"Dave!" Mr. James said loudly. Dave snapped out of his daydream with a start.

"Wha-" Dave stammered.

"What was that cracking noise? Is Joe screwing up again?" Mr. James asked.

"Oh...that's the fourth wall, sir." Dave answered.

"Oh...what?" Mr. James said confused.

"Just don't talk to the readers." Matthew said.

"Matthew!" Lisa hissed.

"Hey, out there. This is Jimmy James, station owner of WNYX." Mr. James said to the readers/viewers. "If you ever want to listen to a station with all talk and no play, turn to WNYX on your radio dail." Mr. James flashed a smile and pointed at the screen with both fingers. Everyone waited for the crack but nothing happened. "What are you talking about, Dave? That fourth wall stuff is nothing but an expression, anyway." Mr. James said and walked away.

"Oh well. I guess we were just hearing things." Dave said.

"But I heard a-" Max started.

"We were just hearing things, Max!" Bill said forcefully. Max shrank back.

"Well, it looks like this thing is almost over." Catherine said.

"But we still haven't found out what the title means." Matthew said.

"Matthew!" everyone shouted.

"But who's going to have a bad day and a doctor?" Matthew asked. _SMASH!!_ The loud noise shook the room as the fourth wall gave in and broke. Suddenly, the office was filled with fans who had came in through the wall. the screaming fans then filed out, leaving the staff members lying on the floor, some knocked out.

"Oh...now where is the doctor?" Matthew moaned.

"Hello. I'm the Doctor." said a man in a black coat. "Has anyone seen my TARDIS?"

"Ohhhh..." moaned the conscience people.

"Hey, get up! I don't pay you people to sleep!" Mr. James said.

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Well, there you are. One more story to add to the NewsRadio section. I hope you have enjoyed this and I would appreciate it if you would let me know what you think of it. 'Till the next!


	2. The Many Faces of Jimmy James!

Hello all. Welcome to another chapter of "Adventures at WNYX" (echo)! Well, what are we waiting for? Let's do this story already!

Mr. James: I'll tell you what we're waiting for. For you to do the disclaimer.

Mr. James, with all due respect, I think that they already know that I don't own any copyrighted characters.

Mr. James: But what if, say, someone had decided to just start reading from the second chapter or whatever? Don't you think you ought to let them know?

I'm starting the story now...

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Adventures at WNYX

"Pita Pita Pita Pu Pu! Pita Pita Pita Pu Pu!" went the radio sitting on Dave's desk. Matthew, Joe, and Beth were sitting on the table in front of the desk jamming out.

"Oh man, this song is the best 'Creme Sludge' has ever come out!" Joe exclaimed. (A/N: By the way, I love ya'll if ya'll got that reference to another one of my stories!)

"Yeah. But not as great as 'Nanananachaku'!" Beth said.

"Shh! They're doing my favorite part!" Matthew said.

"Pita Pata Pita Pu Pu! Pita Pata Pita Po Po!" all three of them sang as this did this rather weird dance. Dave came in at the moment.

"Oh no. Get that off the radio!" Dave ordered.

"But it's 'Creme Sludge', the group known for releasing the best hits ever!" Beth explained.

"They're known for releasing the most annoying hits ever." Dave said and moved towards the radio to switch it off. He stood there for a moment and listened to the song. The song that was making him tap his toe to the beat. The song that was making his move his shoulders back and forth. Dave sat on the table with the others. "It may be annoying but it's soooo catchy!" he said, giving in to the music.

"Pita Pita Pita Pu Pu! Pita Pita Pita Pu Pu!" sang the four as they did that annoying dance.

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The theme song played it showed each cast members and the name of the actor/actress that plays them. Each person ate a different food: Dave, some pizza, Joe, a burger, Mr. James, some chicken, Catherine, some noodles, Beth, a salad, Bill, a taco, Matthew, a big hot dog, and Max, some ice cream because he already ate his nachos.

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**Episode 2: The Many Faces of Jimmy James ****or Mr. James Sobs Like a Baby In This One!**

"Come to think of it, I've never seen Mr. James cry except that one time when he was about to sale the station. Does nearly crying counts?" Dave said as he looked at the title.

"It's says that he sobs like a baby in this one." Matthew said. A crick was heard offscreen.

"Stop it with the fourth wall!" Bill yelled. The staff sat at the meeting table. Mr. James came in, cheerful as ever.

"Mornin', gang!" he said as he sat down at the table.

"Mr. James, are you sad?" Beth asked.

"Nope. I'm happy as when I got the Playboy channel!" Mr. James laughed then stopped, feeling a little suspicious. "Why?"

"Look at the title." Beth said and Mr. James did so. He laughed.

"Me? Cry? Well, actually the last I cried was when 'Free Willy' came out but other then that, I never cry." Mr. James said.

"Well, what about your 'other faces'?" Joe asked.

"What about my other faces?!" Mr. James snapped, causing Joe to nearly wet his pants. "Huh?! Are you calling me a monster?!"

"Well...no...I..." Joe started.

"Just stop talking." Lisa said.

"YOU stop talking!" Mr. James snapped. "You are ALWAYS talking!"

"Did something happen?" Lisa said, used to the outbursts since she hangs out with Dave.

"Hey!" Dave said.

"Did what happen?" Mr. James asked, now in his normal state.

"Um...did something happen to cause you to flip out on us just now?" Lisa asked.

"No. But can I tell you all something?" Mr. James asked.

"Um...yeah." the staff said tentatively.

"I love each and every one of you." Mr. James said, a sincere look on his face. "If it hadn't been for you guys, I don't know how I would've made it. I think we need to have a group hug, here. Come on." Everyone reluctantly get up and went into a group hug. "Aww! There we are!"

"Someone just farted and I felt it." Bill said in the middle of the hug.

Dave was in the kitchen, getting himself a snack when he heard someone laugh. He looked up to see Mr. James walk in.

"Oh, Hello, Mr. Ja-" Dave started but was cut off when a big laugh came out of Mr. James' mouth.

"Hahahahahahaha (gasp) HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mr. James pointed at Dave and continued to laugh.

"What? What is it?" Dave asked, looking himself over.

"_HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_" Mr. James laughed harder then ever. Dave, at the moment had a "What the heck" look on his face. He shook his head and turned back to the fridge.

"Dave?" Mr. James asked, all of a sudden not laughing anymore.

"Yeah?" Dave asked, a little confused.

"Get me a yogurt." Mr. James asked in a bored voice.

"Ok. Which yogurt do you want?" Dave asked.

"I don't care. Just get me any one." Mr. James said. Dave handed him a banana yogurt. Dave then went to the cupboard and took out a pack of cookies. "Dave?" Mr. James asked again.

"Yes, Mr. James?" Dave answered.

"Get me a cookie." Mr. James said.

"Yes sir. We have Oreos, Chips ahoy-" Dave started.

"I don't care. Just any one would do." Mr. James said. Dave raised his eyebrow but handed him some Oreos. He turned his back only to have it hit by a cookie. Dave turned around to have his face hit by yogurt.

"Mr. James? What-" Dave started but Mr. James ran out of the kitchen.

"I'm going to go through your desk!" Mr. James childishly yelled. Dave rolled his eyes and went after him.

"What is going on with Mr. James, today?" Joe asked as he typed on his computer.

"Yeah. He seems to have changing personalities." Lisa said.

"Like that girl on 'Melrose'." Matthew added. As they conversed about it some more, Catherine and Bill was doing the news in their booth.

"Pita Pita Pita Pu Pu." Bill said as he went though some notes. Catherine raised her brow and Bill caught himself. "Sorry. It's that dang song." The opening music came on and Bill faced the microphone. "Hello, out there in Pita-New York. This is Bill Pu-McNeel with the news here on Pit-WNYX!" Catherine was trying her best to keep in her laughter but failed.

"HahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Catherine laughed her butt off on air. Surprisingly, this was bringing in good ratings. Meanwhile, in Mr. James' office, Mr. James was looking out of his window, drink in hand. Dave came in.

"Um, Mr. James. I-" Dave started but Mr. James cut him off.

"Dave." Mr. James said.

"Yes?" Dave wondered.

"Dave." Mr. James said again, turning and giving him a smile.

"Yes?" Dave asked again, getting confused.

"Dave." Mr. James said and took a very noisy sip from his cup.

"Um...I'm going to leave now." Dave said and back out of the room as Mr. James gave very annoying laugh, complete with snorting.

As he ran out to the lobby, Dave's mind began to click together the pieces of the puzzle. Mr. James had so far acted mean, sincere, really really happy, lazy, childish, and just recently, annoying. This didn't seem like him at all and came to the conclusion that maybe these were the faces that the title was referring to. Crick crack.

"And in other news, Dave! Stop it with the wall!" Bill yelled into the microphone. Someone else named Dave was fixing a wall elsewhere.

"But if I don't fix it, my Mother's going to yell at me!" the other Dave said to the radio. Back at the station, Dave ran up to the others.

"Hey, guess what? Mr. James is showing his others faces i.e. his other personalities!" Dave explained.

"Oh, good. Now we can go home." Joe said and actually started to get ready to leave. Beth knocked him out and put him into a drawer. Mr. James came out, looking confused,

"Is this the bathroom?" he asked.

"No. It's that way." Dave said, pointing the other way.

"Oh...what your name?" Mr. James asked.

"It's Dave, sir. You should know." Dave said, getting confused himself.

"Oh...Bob?" Mr. James asked.

"Here. Let me take you to the bathroom." Matthew said and lead Mr. James there.

"I wonder how long this is going to go on?" Beth said, getting a headache.

"I don't know. Untill whoever's writting this decides to stop." Dave said. Suddenly, Mr. James screamed and ran into the office. He jumped into Lisa's arms. Dave felt a little hurt.

"It's dark in there, man! I can't go in there!" Mr. James said, wigged out.

"He's scared now." Matthew told Beth. Beth, for whatever reason, knocked him out and put him into another drawer.

"You'll be ok, Mr. James." Dave said.

"No, I won't. I haven't used the bathroom...never mind." Mr. James said, blushing. Everyone moved away from him. Later on, everyone was getting ready to leave.

"I hope Mr. James is back to normal." Catherine said.

"I hope so, too. I've never seen him act like such a child when we wouldn't let him watch 'Sesame street'." Bill said.

"Well-" Lisa was about to say something when they heard sobs coming from somewhere. "Is that Mr. James?" she asked.

"No. It's just Max." Dave said as he opened a window.

"No. I wasn't crying but I ought to be, I have not been in this stupid episode until now." Max said.

"Well, come on. We need to leave." Dave said when more sobs started somewhere.

"They're coming from this drawer." Catherine said and opened two of them. Matthew and Joe climed out, wiping tears from their faces.

"You were just gonna leave!" Joe just plain whined. Everyone looked at each other. Mr. James came out amid silence.

"Hey. You're just about to leave?" Mr. James asked.

"Yeah." Dave answered.

"All right. Good night." Mr. James said cheerfully. Everyone thought that they were going to see him cry but just forgot about it and left.

The next morning, Mr. James was on the phone and Dave had just walked in.

"So...what are you saying? I can't have a taco with egg and all that good stuff in it?...Well, yeah. I know it's not lunchtime but...Please?...Do you want a hundred dollars?..." Sighing, Mr. James hung up the phone and just sat there.

"Are you ok, Mr. James?" Dave asked.

"He called me a bad name..." Mr. James said.

"Oh...I'm sorry. What did he say?" Dave asked.

"He...called me...fat..." Mr. James' eyes started to well up.

"I'm sorry to hear that. He shouldn't have been so insensitive." Dave said.

"You don't understand!" Mr. James said as he started to sob. "You don't know how hard it is for a fat man to live in a skinny man's world!" With that, he buried his head into his arms and continued to sob really loud.

"But...you're not fat...you're...big boned." Dave said. Somewhere and somehow, he could hear someone laughing. "Royalties" he scoffed. Dave went over to Mr. James and started to comfort him.

"Dave. What are you doing?" Mr. James asked.

"Um...weren't you just crying? Dave asked, confused.

"What did I tell you? I said I never cry." Mr. James said.

"But..." Dave stammered. Mr. James got up, face completely dry, and left. Dave just stood there for a second and then left. "I think he's back to normal.: Dave told the others.

"You mean I missed him cry?!" Matthew asked.

"Yes. He was indeed sobbing like a baby." Dave said. Matthew got up and threw his chair into the radio booth, smashing the glass. He then preceeded to shout at the top of his lungs. Everyone just slumped back into their chairs. _Here we go again..._ Dave thought.

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And the moral of this story? Never call Mr. James fat because he'll cry like a big baby.

Mr. James: Who are you callin' a baby?! I'm am not!

Well, then why when the guy over the phone called you fat-

Mr. James: What?! Well, I'm not sure you're all that lanky your self, you-

Um, let's get out of here before we are treated to a disturbing display. Remember to Read and Review and good what ever time of day it is.

Mr. James: (Is ranting in the background)


	3. Rock Brock!

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another chapter of "Adventures at WNYX" (echo)! And now, we shall begin...That's right. I'm not going to say the disclaimer...Mr. James? Aren't you going to say something?...Oh, well. I guess he's not here at the moment. And besides, I'm sure you all know that if I had owned the show or whatever, it'd probably still be on the air. I don't know. Anyway, here's the chapter. Enjoy!

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Adventures at WNYX

Dave laid on the couch in his office. He was looking back on all the times that he's had at WNYX. He smiled as he remembered the things that has happened, some that went on during the course of the show and some that went on even after the show ended. Dave laughed a little when he remembered when he had to help Matthew out of that hole Bill had made in the floor. Dave was surprised at the fact that he's been there for13 years. He was actually glad that he had decided to work there. It was like he had a family, Mr. James being the father of the children that resided of the other staff members. Speaking of which, 'Pappa' Jimmy had entered the office and sat down on Dave.

"Why is Dave never around when I want him?" Mr. James said to himself.

"That's because you're sitting on me!" Dave said in a strained voice. Mr. James jumped up.

"Oh, there you are." he said.

"I think we need a bicycle pump here." Dave said and put himself in a sitting position. Mr. James sat down next to him.

"What are you doing?" he asked Dave.

"Oh, just thinking about how long I've worked here." Dave said.

"Oh? How long have you worked here?" Mr. James asked.

"13 years." Dave replied.

"Wow! That long?" Mr. James asked. He sighed as he remembered when Dave first came into the station, looking for work. It was like it was only yesterday when he had hired Dave. He thought about how he almost sold the station and was glad that his friends had talked him out of it.

"Hey, Mr. James?" Dave asked his boss.

"Yeah?" Mr. James asked back.

"Remember when Joe had somehow connected the water main to the sprinkler system?" Dave asked.

"Oh yeah. We had to basically get a new office." Mr. James smiled at the memory even though it was tedious. "Hey. Remember that holloween when Matthew had dyed his hair yellow?"

"You mean for that Dragonball z costume?" Dave added.

"Yeah. As it turns out, that dye had some type of hair removal formula in it and Matthew had to go as the bald guy instead." Mr. James finished his anecdote. They both laughed. The camera had a view of the back of the couch as it panned up to show a full moon that was there while they continued to talk about their past moments, slow music playing in the background.

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The theme song played as the cast members danced in a dance line like the one on Soul Train. They are actually pretty good. Mr. James even did some sort of robot.

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**Episode 3: Rock Brock or Matthew stands up for himself without tripping!**

The WNYX staffers were hard at work trying to make the best production ever as always. The broadcast was underway as Bill and Catherine sat in the radio booth.

"This is Bill McNeel with the WNYX news!" Bill proudly proclaimed. "This afternoon, a bank robbery occured at the 100th st. bank. Two robbers, one with short blue hair and the other with long red hair, burst in demanding a large sum of money while first saying this poem to attempt to lull the bank tellers and costumers to sleep. If anyone knows about the duo, please call the police station immediately. Catherine?" Catherine shook her head 'no' "Come on, Catherine. You have to say something."

Catherine opened her mouth and a huge belch ripped through the airwaves. Needless to say, this made everyone forget about the news at hand and a belching contest started. Dave and the others were in his office betting on who had the biggest belch.

"Ok, guys. If caller #4 is the loudest, I win this one." Dave said.

"Come on, #4. Matty needs a new pair of shorts." Matthew said. Everyone looked at him weirdly and went back to what they were doing. It turns out, caller #4 was just attempting to burp but only vomitted. The winnings went to Joe.

"How did you know he was going to throw up?" Lisa asked.

"Oh, I know these things." Joe said as he counted his gains. The contest was soon over and they all left the office.

"Hey, has anyone seen Mr. James around?" Beth asked.

"No, actually." Dave answered. Mr. James had not been into work as of yet and he would usually show up at around 10, at least.

"Hey. How about we look up at the title and see if it would give was any clues as to where he is." Lisa suggusted.

"Yeah. Good idea." said the others collectively and started to look up.

"_No!_" shouted Matthew. The others looked at him.

"Excuse me?" Dave asked.

"I am getting sick and tired of that stupid wall always breaking down and all because you just can't mind you own business!" Matthew snapped.

"Wha-?" Dave started as Bill came out of the booth.

"What's going on?" Bill asked.

"I have no idea." Lisa said,

"Whatever." Bill said and lit a cigarette. Matthew went up to him and slapped it out of his hands.

"Bill, didn't you say you were going to quit?" Matthew asked to a perplexed Bill.

"Well..." Bill tried but was cut off.

"Do you know that you're not only killing yourself but the rest of us with your second hand smoke? Gimme the cigarettes." Matthew shouted, his hand reached out.

"But-" Bill started.

"Give me the [Bleep cigarettes, Bill!" Matthew yelled, startling some of the others. Dave knew this was serious seeing as they had to break in the censor button so he had to intervene.

"Bill, go to the fire escape." Dave told him. Bill complied and Dave turned to Matthew. "What's with you? Did something happen?"

"Oh, you'd like to know that, wouldn't you?" Matthew hissed. "Why don't you go back to your own house and stop bothering us?!" With that, Matthew turned on his heel and stormed out. Everyone stared after him, confused as ever.

The staff was in the kitchen, snacking on random things while conversing about the event that occured earlier.

"What's gotten into Matthew? He never usually acts like that." Dave said.

"I think I know what might have caused that." Lisa said, glancing over at Bill.

"What?" Bill asked.

"Oh, come on. The way you two have been going at it, of course someone's going to have some mental anguish in the end." Lisa explained.

"Oh, please. Like he didn't already have mental problems." Bill laughed.

"See? That's the problem. Now, maybe if you would stop treating him like trash, maybe he would lighten up." Lisa said. Bill sighed.

"Fine." he simply said.

"Maybe someone else said something to him to hurt his feelings?" Dave suggusted.

"Or maybe it was this long forgotten yogurt that made him upset." Catherine said as she pulled a plug of yogurt out of it's container.

"Why would old yogurt make someone upset?" Joe asked.

"Catherine, would you put that mess away?!" Bill shouted. Catherine had been waving it in his face.

"See?" Catherine said as she throw it away.

"Hey, pal." Said Bill nicely as he approached Matthew's desk.

"Yes, Bill?" Matthew said. He didn't seem upset.

"Um...do you wanna...go to the park? Play some ball?" Bill asked.

"Of course, let me get my coat." Matthew and left to go get it. Bill became confused.

"This had better not be a trick!" Bill growled at Dave, who just walked up.

"Well, at least Matthew's feeling better." Dave said, relieved. Unfortunately, that thought was soon forgotten when Matthew came storming in.

"What's this, huh? Trying to get out of work?" Matthew asked, glaring at Bill.

"Matthew, what's going on?" Dave asked.

"Get back to work!" Matthew shouted, spitting in their faces.

"What was that about?" Joe asked, coming over.

"And Joe? If I see another rat in the coffee pot, I'll make sure you'll be putting rats in the coffee of another office!" Matthew said and went back to typing on his computer. The others just stood there, trying to piece together what just happened.

"We need to find out what's going on. There's only one place in this office for one hard guy!" Dave said.

"Yeah, and it ain't you now get out of my light or you'll get a paddlin'!" Matthew demanded as he slammed a wooden paddle onto his desk. The three scrambled away.

It's been a few hours since opening time and Mr. James hadn't come in yet. Dave had called him at his house but he didn't pick up. Maybe if he was here, he would have straightened this up moments ago. Matthew's reign on the staff was getting worse by the minute. At radom intervels, he would calm down and revert back to his normal self. However, when Matthew was in that funk, he would make the staff do weird things like Lisa juggling balls and Joe doing a fancy jig. He even went as far as to order Max to shine his shoes and then fix him breakfast. Max was taken to the hospital suffering from burns due to Matthew throwing his mug of coffee into his face because "a tail was in it.". Everyone was getting annoyed at Matthew's behavior and the staffs tempers reached a boiling peak when Dave was paddled on the backside with the paddle until Catherine found out what was causing this.

"A _what??_" Joe asked, rubbing his tired legs from dancing all day.

"A pastry." Catherine replied as she put half a cheese danish onto the table. "Matthew's must have eaten one of those pastries from that factory."

"No! You don't possibly mean 'the FasseryVille cakes'?" Bill asked in awe.

"_The_ FasseryVille cakes." Catherine said then went on to explain the history of the infamous baked goods. "Long ago, in the year 19 of 86, a pastry factory opened up. It was known as the 'FasseryVille Cake and Bake Factory'. Sales of their products were high, especially of their cheese danishes. They were very popular until _it_ happened."

"What?" Dave asked.

"One day, someone brought one of their Cheese Danishes and after eating it, they began to fell weird. Then they began to feel angry. An uncontrollable rage built up inside of him and he began to lash out at the ones that he would never even raise his voice to. It got to the point where the rage got to be so huge, he started to reek havoc on the whole town. Somehow, he wound up at the FasseryVillie factory and...well, let's just say that they are now more careful in what they put in their cakes." Catherine drank a glass of water as everyone looked on.

"How do you know of this?" Bill asked, mystified by what he just heard.

"Because that person...was my cousin." Catherine said. Everyone gasped.

"Oh, Catherine. I'm so sorry." Dave apoligized.

"Oh, there's no need to feel sorry. At least he stopped the town from being completely wiped off the face of the earth." Catherine said.

"But then, how does Matthew have one of the tainted danishes? And why is this happening?" Joe asked.

"A weird hormone by the name of 'Aingreyraije' was accidentally mixed into the batter and five boxes were packaged of the tainted cakes. The first box was shipped out and they immediately pulled the other four boxes when learning of the side effects of this hormone." Catherine explained.

"Then how does Matthew have one of the 'cakes'?" Dave asked.

"I guess other of the boxes were accidentally shipped out." Catherine sighed.

"Is there a cure for this?" Lisa asked hopefully.

"Yes..." Catherine said. "We will have to kill him. That is the only way."

"What?!" asked Joe. He and Matthew were always fighting but that didn't mean he wanted him dead.

"Actually, I wanted to see how Bill was going to react. We just need to show Matthew how much we care." Catherine said. Everyone sighed.

"Is that it?" Dave asked.

"Yes. Thank goodness." Catherine replied.

"Ok. Let's go see if this will work." Dave said and they all left. Catherine stayed behind, feeling real good about telling that story, like she was an enemy revealing everything.

Dave and the others walked into the main office and found Matthew. He was yelling at a plant to grow blue leaves instead of green.

"Matthew." Dave said to get his attention.

"What is it?! Can't you see I'm having a conversation here?!" Matthew shouted.

"I know. but we just want you to know something." Dave started.

"What?" Matthew asked.

"Matthew, you're our best pal." Dave said.

"What?" Matthew said.

"Yeah, man. If you hadn't come along, this place just would not be the same." Joe commented.

"You know what? We need to give him a hug!" Beth said.

"We do??" Bill asked, raising his eyebrow. Lisa kicked in his leg.

"What are you doing?" Matthew asked as they all embraced him in a group hug.

"Please. We want our friend Matthew back." Dave said.

"Hurry up." Bill muttered.

"Hey guys. What's going on?" came Matthew's voice. They all get off of him.

"Are you Matthew again?" Dave asked hopefully.

"Duh! I have always been Matthew!" Matthew said and went back to his desk.

"I don't know..." Lisa said, doubtfully.

"Wait a minute." Bill told them and went over to Matthew's desk. "Hey, Matthew. Want to go to the park?"

"Oh, heck yeah. Anything to get away from this place for a while." said Matthew as he rushed to get his coat. Bill didn't go get his and instead went to his desk.

"Aren't you going to go to the park with him?" Dave asked,

"Well, you only wanted me to find out if he was back to normal." Bill said as the others looked at each other.

"Come on. Let's get rid of the rest of that danish before someone else-" Dave started before he saw that someone else coming out of the kitchen eating the last bit of the cake.

"Hey, guys!" Max cheerfully, somehow out of the hospital already. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Well, guys? Look like we might have to give out another group hug." Dave said as he smiled. He gave the peace sign...and stood there while everyone stared at him. "What? No iris out or anything?"

"I wonder what is keeping Mr. James?" Lisa wondered outloud.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**A few hours earlier...**

Mr. James stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom, combing his hair down with a wet comb. He put it down and squirted some lotion into his hand. Mr. James rubbed it in his hands started to apply it on his face, singing a little tune. He slowly stopped as he saw a reflection of a girl in her late teens appear.

"Can I help you?" Mr. James asked her.

"Hi. Sorry to intrude but might I see this for a second?" the girl asked.

"Sure." Mr. James said and went back to getting ready. When he was finished, he turned around and looked at the bed. There were three items there: a belt, a white box which contained his cufflinks, and on the floor beside the bed, his shoes. However, one of the items were missing. Mr. James looked at the girl who had the item.

"Alright, I'm gonna need that back." he said to her. As Mr. James put on the other two items, the girl smirked. She was going to make him late.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And we'll just leave it right there. I'm sorry if you hate cliffhangers but I just had an idea: the next chapter is going to be about Mr. James trying to get back the item from the girl and it's up to you which item it is! Will Mr. James be trying to get back his belt, his cufflinks, or his shoes. I will put up a poll with that question and after a week or whenever I am able to get access to a computer, close it down. The item with the most votes will be the one Mr. James tries to get back. If, for some reason, I don't get any respones to this then I'll just go ahead and choose the item myself. I just thought that this would more fun and-

Dave Nelson: Excuse me. We would like to go home so could you please end this?

Oh great. Another backseat...narrator. Oh, well. I was going to end it, anyway. Remember, readers: The mystery is up to you! See ya!


	4. Big Chase In Fort Awesome!

Hello everyone. We are at another chapter of "Adventures at WNYX" (echo). Before we begin, I'd like to mention that I had a poll up that was in junction to this chapter. The question being "What would be the item that Mr. James tries to get back from the girl?" and the choices being "His cufflinks, his belt, or his shoes.". So far, there were not any poll results and it's been up for quite a while. So, I have just decided to close it down and go ahead and write the chapter, using shoes because unless you like holes in your socks, you can't really go anywhere without some type of footwear. But don't fret. In the future, there may another poll so keep on the lookout. Alright, let's begin this. Remember that I don't own any copyrighted material that may appear in this story. And...Hajime!!

--

Adventures At WNYX!

**Previously...**

_Mr. James stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom, combing his hair down with a wet comb. He put it down and squirted some lotion into his hand. Mr. James rubbed it in his hands started to apply it on his face, singing a little tune. He slowly stopped as he saw a reflection of a girl in her late teens appear._

_"Can I help you?" Mr. James asked her._

_"Hi. Sorry to intrude but might I see this for a second?" the girl asked._

_"Sure." Mr. James said and went back to getting ready. When he was finished, he turned around and looked at the bed. There were three items there: a belt, a white box which contained his cufflinks, and on the floor beside the bed, his shoes. However, one of the items were missing. Mr. James looked at the girl who had the item._

_"Alright, I'm gonna need that back." he said to her. As Mr. James put on the other two items, the girl smirked. She was going to make him late._

--

The theme song played as each of the cast members, sans Mr. James, were in his office sitting in his chair. As each person sat in the chair, the actor's name came up. They would also do different things. For instance, Matthew started to spin around in the chair and made himself sick.

--

**Episode 4: Big Chase in Fort Awesome or Jim Shoes**!

As Mr. James put on his belt, he thought about what might go on at the station today and how he was going to make it fun. While he was the boss, he didn't want to alienate the staff members by being a hard guy when he didn't have to. Maybe, if the staff had done a good job today, he would take them out for ice cream. Mr. James smiled. He was glad that they were able to trust him, If they had a problem, he was always welcome to lend an ear and help them sort it out. Speaking of problems, right at the time, Matthew was probably getting into some kind of trouble so Mr. James wanted to get there as soon as possible. Unfortunately, his plans were about to be thwarted. Mr. James finished buttoning up his lucky horseshoe cufflinks and reached down to get his shoes. He remembered the girl had them and looked over towards her.

The unknown girl, tall, Asian, probably 18, had a mischievous smirk on her face as she swung the shoes around by the laces. Mr. James smiled. "Alright, I hope you haven't grown too attached to them because I need them back. I'm kinda on a schedule here." he explained.

The girl just smirked as she held Mr. James' shoes. Mr. James raised an eyebrow then tried again. "Um...Did-did you hear me? I said I have to get to work now. So could I have my shoes?" The girl started to back up. "What are you doing? Why are you backing away? I'm not going to hurt you. I just need my shoes. Now." Mr. James walked towards the girl as she backed up. They kept this up as they went faster and faster until the girl bolted out of the room and down the stairs. Mr. James rolled his eyes. Whatever happened to respect your elders? Mr. James went out of his room and ran down the stairs. The girl was sitting on the couch in the living room. Mr. James went up to her.

"Alright. Quit playing around and give them to me. Please? You'll make me late." he told her.

The girl giggled.

"What?" Mr. James asked.

The girl said nothing and just got up and ran to another room. Mr. James sighed and went to find her. He went past one of his dogs. It looked hungry and Mr. James couldn't leave it starving.

_Oh, Well. _he thought, _This dang house is so big, I even got lost it once._ (A/N: I _think_ he lives in a mansion, I'm not sure.). Jimmy went into the kitchen and got a can of dog food and a can opener. As he was opening it, he could've sworn he saw a shadow. Mr. James looked up and saw nothing. He went back to opening the can. This time, he _knew_ that he saw a shadow go past. Mr. James turned around and still nothing was to be seen. He hurried to give the dog the dish of food and then left to go find the girl and his shoes.

Mr. James searched around the dining room. He thought that he saw the shadow go in here and that it could've been the little girl. He looked under the table and found another one of his dogs sleeping under there. Mr. James got up just in time to here a pattering of feet. He turned to see his culprit going upstairs again. "Ah hah!" he said and went after here.

Upon arriving there, all of the doors were closed. Mr. James checked the bathroom. No one there. He checked the guest room. Not a soul to be found. He checked the other guest room. She was not there. That must've meant that she was in his room. Mr. James sneaked up to the door and put his ear to the door. No sounds came from inside. She must've been hiding. Mr. James burst open the door and stopped. She wasn't in _there_, either?

"Now, what..." Mr. James said as he looked around. He checked in his closet and under the bed. How could she not be there? Mr. James looked up and saw his answer. The window was open, a cool breeze coming in. He looked out the window, which overlooked the swimming pool. She must've climbed down the tree that stood next to the window. Mr. James rushed down to the back door and opened it. The sun shone down as the breeze rustled the bushes that lined the house. Mr. James searched around and looked into the swimming pool. He quickly moved away from it, in fear that the girl might have come up from behind and pushed into it. He looked over to see yet another one of his dogs sniffing at a bush. That was his clue.

Mr. James snuck up to the bush and mouthed "Good Boy" to the dog and poised hisself. He quickly reached into the bush and brought up...the dog's chew toy. Crestfallen, Jimmy threw the toy and the dog went after it. The sound of a door slamming caused Mr. James to jerk his head up. He ran to the door and tried the doorknob. This brought him to the depressing conclusion that the girl had locked him outside.

"Aw!" Mr. James groaned as he slid down the door onto the pavement. Why was this happening? How was he going to explain this to the staff? How would they fare without him?

--

"Maybe he's sick." Catherine said.

"No. Mr. James said himself that he would risk us catching what he has then stay out." Dave said.

"I hope he's ok." Bill said, concerned.

"I've never heard you speak like that before." Matthew said.

"Neither have I." Bill said.

"Like what?" Matthew asked.

"Normal." Bill said then got up and left. Just at that very moment, Matthew's Danish kicked in and he went after Bill in a rage.

--

Mr. James got off of his cell phone that he had thankfully put in his suit coat pocket. The locksmith would be there in another hour. While that was disappointing to hear, it was better than nothing seeing as he usually is told that the arrival time of the smiths would be 8 hours up to a whole day. As Mr. James sat there, he had several questions going through his head; Why was that girl here? What did she want with his shoes? And more importantly, just _how_ did she get in? Mr. James sighed as he thought about work and what fun he was missing out on. He looked at his cell phone and contemplated calling there. He decided not to and wanted to see if they would call him there, worried about their uncle Jimmy. So far, he has not heard either his cell or his house phone ring. Mr. James turned off his cell phone to save battery power.

--

The phone on the side of Mr. James' bed rang over and over again. No one knows why he would refuse to buy an answering machine. He didn't want to say that that "beeeep" tended to make him jumpy. Anyway, the phone stopped ringing after a while. Mr. James has still not heard any of his phones ring.

--

Mr. James got up and went to go water his garden. Might as well pass the time before the locksmith got there. Jimmy then looked up at his window. It was still open. He then looked at the tree next to the window. An idea spawned in his head, Maybe if he were to climb the tree to get to the window, he would be able to get inside. Mr. James thought back to the days in the war where he would climb trees to get away from the enemy. Maybe he still had it.

Mr. James went to the base of the tree and flexed a little. He then holsted himself up the trunk and held a tight grip on it. Jimmy shimmied up the trunk until he got near the first branch he could reach. He grabbed the nearest branch and held on to it. Unfortunately, it wasn't the sturdiest branch on the tree and Mr. James found his self back on the ground. Rubbing his backside, he groaned as he got up. _I guess I will have to just wait for the locksmith. _Mr. James thought sadly, as he slumped backon the door step, forgetting about the garden.

--

"Weird. Why isn't Mr. James picking up?" Dave asked as he set down the phone.

"Maybe he's just really tired." Lisa tried.

"But he usually calls in to let us know that he would be late." Dave stated.

"Or maybe he knows not to come here when I'm in charge now get away from that phone!" Matthew shouted. Dave and Lisa sighed.

--

Mr. James was getting fed up. It has been nearly over an hour and the locksmiths still hasn't come. If he was just a bit more ticked off, he would sue them but now, he was too tired to think of anything. Jimmy looked down at his feet; his navy blue nylon socks were getting dusty from all the walking around in them. Today was not his day. When he woke up today, he fully expected to get dressed and go to work. Somehow, chase a girl for his shoes, get locked outside of his own house while the girl did who knows what inside and try to climb up a tree had made it's way between his proposed plans. He might not have been able to make it into work today the way things were going. Mr. James had decided to go ahead and call the station and tell them what the situation was. He got out his cell phone and was about to turn it on when one of his dogs came up and tried to take it.

Mr. James, by instinct, threw the phone as if it was the dog's play toy. As it landed in the swimming pool, Mr. James came to the realization that that wasn't actually a rubber ball. "Aww, shoot." Mr. James groaned as he put his head into his hands. Then, something happened that hasn't happened since he saw "Free Willy"; he cried. It first came out as a little sniffle then a little sob which turned into a full fledged weep. He knew someone might see him to crying but at the moment, he didn't care. Mr. James sat there, loud sobs escaping his throat at all that happened to him that morning. And all because of an 18 year old girl.

"Excuse me. Are you all right?" came a voice from behind Mr. James. He turned to see the said girl. He wiped his faced and tried to smile.

"Oh, I'm fine. I was just-" Mr. James started.

"I'm sorry I made you cry. I forgot that you said you were sensitive." the girl said. Mr. James wiped his eyes some more.

"Huh?" he asked.

"In your book." the girl said and took out a copy of Mr. James' autobiography, "Jimmy James: Capitalist Lion Tamer". Mr. James looked at the book and then to the girl and then to the book again. "I hope you aren't mad because of all the trouble I put you through." the girl said. Jimmy's face slowly went into a smile.

"You little rascal, you!" he playfully shouted as he leaped up. "Why didn't you tell me you were a fan of my book?"

"I wanted to get you to hang around longer." the girl said sheepishly. Mr. James nodded.

"Yeah. You made me late like you said you would." he stated, not all that amused.

"I did really?!" the girl said surprised.

"Yeah." Mr. James said.

"Oh wow! I'm so sorry!" The girl said, bowing. Mr. James smiled.

"It's ok, but next time, how about we _not_ make Jimmy late for work and come in through the front door, all right?" Mr. James said a little sternly to show that he meant it. The girl understood and he smiled and patted her shoulder. Mr. James went to go get a marker to sign her book. He opened it to the title page. "Who am I making this out to?"

"Just sign it 'to the Jimmy James Fanclub Tokyo'!" the girl, apparently now forever nameless, proudly said. Mr. James signed it as such and gave the book to her. He remembered the following he had in Japan. He was about to tell her about the somewhat crazy book reading he had when suddenly, another girl, around the same age came up.

"Girl, what's taking you so long? Everyone's waiting for you. Did you get the shoes?" the other girl said.

"Yeah, and I got an autograph!" the first girl said while opening the book to Mr. James' autograph. The other jumped back a little when she saw it.

"How the-?" the other girl said.

"I'm the-" Jimmy said. The other girl looked up and saw him. He waved and she fainted.

"Come on, Raven! We gotta go! The meeting's about to start!" came another voice from the distance.

"Yeah, thanks for ruining the mystery!" the girl, apparently named Raven, called back. She turned to give Mr. James his shoes back.

"Keep them. To show the fanclub proof that you met Jimmy James." Mr. James said, winking.

"Thank you!" Raven said then ran off.

"Phew!" Mr. James sighed, really relieved that it was all over. It may not have been what he wanted but he now couldn't say that he hasn't had an adventure recently. He had to admit, that was one heck of a morning. As he put on another pair of shoes, Mr. James was sure the others would believe the story he just had to share with them and then they'll understand why he was late.

--

"Mr. James, just admit that you just slept in late." Dave said.

"Was it a dream?" Beth asked.

"No. It really happened!" Mr. James tried to get them to believe him.

"Ok. Where's proof of this tale?" Joe asked.

"Ok. You want proof? Excuse me for a second." Mr. James went into Dave's office and stayed in their for a few minutes. Everyone got a little concerned and went to go check to see if their boss was still alive. What they saw in the office made them coo in adoration; Mr. James holding his stuffed bear in one arm while snoring lightly, fast asleep.

"I guess he did have a big adventure. Sleep tight, Jimmy." Bill said warmly.

"See? You're talking like that again!" Matthew pointed out.

"Matthew, has that danish wore off yet?" Bill asked.

"Yeah, I think so. Why?" Matthew replied.

"No reason." Bill said before he started chasing Matthew into the break room. The others took one more look at Mr. James and quietly closed the door.

--

The Fangirls of the Jimmy James Fanclub all crowded around the door. An electronic drum roll played as Raven, Cro, and Robin all came in. Raven took out the book and turned it to the signature. The other fangirls squealed as an electronic cymbal sounded, followed by another drumroll. Raven then pulled out the shoes and chaos ensued as a much louder cymbal sounded with a fanfare. Girls fainted as one of the conscience girls took the shoes and inhaled deeply.

"Ahh! You can smell Jimmy's essence!" the rabid fangirl sighed..

--

Mr. James sat at Dave's desk. Dave came in.

"Sir? May I ask a question?" Dave asked.

"Uh-huh." Mr. James replied.

"Why didn't you put on another pair of shoes instead of chasing after that girl?" Dave asked his question.

"Well, Dave, I would've but there is a good reason why I didn't.

"And, why's that sir?" Dave asked.

"I was just trying to do a story. Any other questions?" Mr. James replied.

"Who's cracking up the wall?!" Matthew shouted from outside. The other two laughed silently.

--

Well, there it is. Another chapter under the belt. That last bit was like the scene that runs during the credits, you know. Anyway, please read and review and I hope you've enjoyed it. 'Till the next!!


	5. The Xovers!

Welcome to the next chapter of "Adventures at WNYX!". It's been a while since I've made one of these, eh? See, I've been rather busy and lazy but now I'm back again, eh? I don't own any of the copyrighted material in this story and no offence to any fandom fans out there, eh? Now let's just quit the chatter watch the show, eh?

Dave Nelson: Listen, I am not, and I repeat, NOT impressed by you adding "eh" to the end of your sentences, alright?

...What??

Dave Nelson: Never mind...

--

Adventures at WNYX!

"Hey guys! Look what came in the mail!" Dave exclaimed as he came into the office holding a figurine. It was a highly detailed Dave Nelson Doll/Figure complete with overcoat and suitcase. It had synthetic hair and clothes made out of real fabric. It looked like Dave from the first season.

"I have one as well." Lisa said, showing a figurine of herself. Her's had the same appearance.

"Look! Mine has a pack of gum." Beth said and she stroked the hair of her's.

"You can take the shirt off of mine." said Joe as he removed the shirt to reveal the doll's/figure's plastic pecs.

"See? I _told_ you dolls weren't just for girls!" Max said as he cuddled hs mini-Max.

"Wow! Is this supposed to be me?" Matthew asked as he looked at his figure.

"I'm Bill McNeal!" Bill said as he held his figure up to the Microphone.

"And I'm Catherine Duke." Catherine said as she did the same thing.

"Well, I guess the adult in me is really flattered that they would make dolls of us." Dave said. Suddenly, a kid version of himself appears in the same outfit he was wearing. "And the kid in me is awfully glad that I can play with myself!" (A/N: Forgive me! I couldn't resist!) Lisa stared at Dave, disturbed for two reasons.

"...What?" she said. The Kid-Dave stood there for a second and ran into his office. Mr. James soon walked in from the elevators holding his doll, a peeved look on his face.

"Hey, does anybody want this thing? I don't play with dolls." he said as he held it up.

"I'll take it!" Beth said as she held out her hand.

"Shouldn't you be glad that a doll was made in your likeness, Mr. James?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah, but I wish that they wouldn't make my likeness...so fat." Mr. James said.

"That's true. He was thinner in the first season than he was in the third season and-" Beth started when Bill knocked on the news booth's window and shook his head "no". Beth remembered the wall and just said "Well...you know."

"Oh. Well, here." Mr. James said as he handed the figure to Beth. "I swear. It's like they didn't know me at all. Yeah, I'll give 'em fat."

"Well, to be honest, you _have_ gained a few since then." Beth said again.

"What?!" Mr. James raised his voice, causing Beth tocringe a little.

"Jeez. Easy there, big boy. Is that anyway to treat your girlfriend?" Matthew asked.

"Big boy?!" Mr. James shouted.

"I said 'Big Bird'." Matthew said.

"_Big Bird?!_" Mr. James shouted again. The words "ButterBall Turkey" came to his mind. Just before they faced the Wrath of James, he suddenly stopped and slowly looked at Beth, who was playing with both dolls. "Matthew. Girlfirend? Why would you say that? I mean, you say pretty much any dang thing but..."

"Well, on the show, it seems you and Beth have this...thing for each other." Matthew said.

"No. It's just that me and Beth love each other...Um, not in the Dave and Lisa way ("Yeah, in season two, maybe." came from Lisa.) but in a bonded staff member way." Mr. James explained, still having a hint of blush in his face nonetheless.

"Let's just hope one of those weird fandoms like 'Jimeth' or 'Bimmy' or whatever don't get started." Lisa said. When a loud crack was heard, that told them that this cold opening went on a little too long.

The "catchy" theme plays as the dolls/figures seen earlier are in the place of their respective cast members as the names come up. The Dave figure is walking around on his desk, held up by someone of course, and the Jimmy figure comes in the frame. The Beth figure is pressing the buttons of a telephone. The Joe one is trying to pick up a screw driver. The Lisa one is looking at a magazine. The Bill Figure is playing with his headset acessory. The Catherine one is have her hair stroked. The Max one is playing wrestling with a Ken doll. And the Matthew figure is held up to a cup of coffee only to have itself fall into the mug.

**Episode 5: The X-over Files or ****Jimmy Scares the Mess out of People!**

It was a normal day at WNYX and-

"You're absolutely right. It _was _a normal day at WNYX." Dave commented as he was pouring himself a cup of coffee.

Ok, I'm not trying to be rude but do you always have to interrupt? Because, y'know...I'm just trying to put my sugar high to good use, ok? So, unless you don't want me to be doing the Mr. Bean dance on top of my roof then-

"Ok, whatever." Dave said as he went back into his office.

Anyway, It was a normal day at WNYX and Bill and Catherine were doing the usual...doing NewsRadio.

"And, after that cheap attempt at using the Tv show's title in a sentence, we'll be right back after these messages." Bill said into the microphone. As it went to break, everyone was giving him a weird stare. "What?" he asked to Catherine.

"What 'Tv show'?" Catherine asked.

"Um...never mind. Forget it." Bill stammered. Down in the Bullpit, there was an equal amount of fervorous activity from the rest of the staff.

"I wish I'd called in sick." Max said.

"You don't have to call in to be sick." Joe said as he went past randomly.

"Nah!" Max said as he waved him away.

"Gee. I hope Mr. James gets here soon." Beth said.

"Why do you wanna see him so bad?" Lisa asked.

"Um...no reason." Beth said. Little did they know, she had a plan. A cunning plan and she has been waiting for a while to put it in action.

"I wonder if this is a crossover?" Matthew wondered. Suddenly, the whole office filled with the smell of cigarette smoke and Bill was doing the news. Everyone looked over behind Matthew's desk to see an ominous figure standing there, puffing on a Morley.

"It could be." he said in an equal tone.

"Extra points to whoever guesses the name of the show they're from." Lisa said.

"Ooh, I know! Frasier!" Beth said.

"No. It's gotta be Cheers." Joe said.

"He's from Wings, right?" Bill said, coming out of the booth.

"Mad About You." Catherine said.

"All of you are wrong, guys. He's definitely from NewsRadio." Matthew said. At once, everyone give him a look that said "You Must Be Outta Your EverMclovin' Mind".

"Actually, I hate to prove you all wrong but you're not even guessing programs on the same Network as mine." the cigarette smoking man known as The Cigarette Smoking Man said.

"Is it a show from ABC?" Joe said.

"No." the CSM returned.

"CBS?" Max tried.

The CSM shook his head.

"HBC?" Matthew asked. The CSM just stared.

"Matthew, that's from South Park." Lisa reminded him.

"Oh yeah. Heh. 'Respect my authorita'!" Matthew tried to imitate Cartman's voice only to screw up his vocal cords to the point of silence. Everyone was 20 concerned and 80 glad.

"Well, how about I just tell you seeing as we aren't getting anywhere. I am from-" the CSM started when Dave came out of his office.

"Hey, what's that guy from Friends doing here?" he asked. The CSM just rolled his eyes and took a drag. He eyed Bill lighting up.

"What are you?" he asked.

"Pacific Northern. You?" Bill said.

"Morley." the CRL replied. Before he could comment on his now mangled name, who should walk in but the big man himself, Jimmy James. Emphasising big man.

"Ah, I see a retarded monkey is holding a four year old captive at the keyboard again." Mr. James said.

Right and sometimes, even a four year old could accidentally type something like "Mr jAm iss StUkk n garbigge kaN.".

Everyone noticed Mr. James's sudden disappearance. A noise was heard from the corner and they looked over to see Mr. James' bottom half sticking out of the aforementioned Garbigge Kan.

"Jimmy stuck! Jimmy scared! Jimmy want to get out!" came his muffled voice. They all helped him out, amid Matthew's laughs. Before Mr. James could strangle him, he was stopped by a voice.

"Mr. Jimmy." the CSM called out. Mr. James looked up and smiled.

"Spender?! What the heck-?" Mr. James ran over to him and they hugged each other, laughing. "What's it been? 25 years?!"

"It _has_ been a while." the CSM said as he put out his cigarette.

"Oh, so you knew each other long ago?" Dave asked.

"Yep. Worked with me in the secret service." Mr. James proudly said.

"Hey, weren't you Deep Throat's assistant?" the CSM asked.

"No. I was Deep Throat himself. Wow, guess it has been a while." Mr. James said.

"Ah. Now that you mention it, you were the one who spoke with that one guy who helped you with the JFK-" the CSM started when Jimmy muttered 'no'.

"But, yeah. I was Deep Throat." Mr. James

"Do you have proof?" Lisa said.

"See? Like I told you and everyone else: there will always be doubters. Maybe you can help me convince them, Spender." Mr. James said.

"I didn't bring anything with me." the CSM said.

"Don't you still have that picture with you?" Mr. James asked. The CSM reached into his pocket and pulled out a photo. He gave it to Lisa. It showed a younger Jimmy and CSM. It seemed he was known just as C.G.B. Spender back then.

"But where's the actual-?" Joe started as the picture was being passed around.

"Ok, look way into the back ground and you will see the US Federal building behind us." Mr. James said.

"How do we know you didn't just stand outside the place and snapped the photo?" Max asked. Mr. James gave a weary sigh.

"Spender, could you please go get the-" Mr. James asked when the CSM nodded and left. "Thanks a lot! You guys are going to be _blown _away!"

"And you're willing to tell us all of this stuff that before, you would actually kill a person just so it wouldn't get out?" Dave asked.

"What are you talking about? I haven't killed a guy in my life except those in 'nam." Mr. James said. There was something of a nervous air about him though.

"Remember that guy? Seth Kerdiss?" Dave started when Beth cut it.

"Mr. James. I'm glad you're here." Beth said.

"Yes? What's on your mind?" Mr. James asked, looking rather relieved at the interruption.

"She had been asking us so much about when you were getting here." Lisa said in a weary voice. Mr. James looked over at Beth and raised his eyebrows in a look of surprise.

"Oh, really?" he asked. "What did you wanna ask me that was so important?"

"I wanna...take a picture!" Beth announced.

"Um...ok." everyone said. Soon, the whole gang, sans Beth, were in a group in front of the radio booth.

"You sure you don't want to be in this picture, Beth?" Matthew asked.

"No. I'm fine. I'll take my pictures later." Beth said. She reached into her pocket and brought out a camera. She held it up to her eyes and right then, everyone felt like their bones had locked up but decided to not think about it. "Ok, everyone. Smile!" Everyone did. Beth stood there as she held the camera to her eyes. Everyone stood there as they watched her hold the camera to her eyes. Beth stood there as she still held the camera up to her eyes. Everyone stood there as they watched her still hold the camera up to her eyes.

"Ahem. Um, Beth? Sweetie? Is something wrong with the camera?" Mr. James asked.

"Nope. It's perfectly fine." Beth said as she stood there, her finger poised over the button. A minute passed when they started to get annoyed.

"I have to pee." Max muttered to Bill.

"Yeah, what's going on?" Bill asked.

"Nothing." Beth answered.

"So take the picture." Bill said.

"I am. Stop rushing me." Beth returned. However, she spent another minute in the same position as was the others.

"Beth. This is cutting into the work day." Dave said.

"Just a minute. You want this picture, right?" Beth said.

"No, _you _wanted this picture." Joe said.

"Beth, will ya come on? I'm getting stiff." Mr. James whined.

"Me too." Max said. Another minute passed and they were getting really annoyed.

"Alright. You know what? I'm gonna have to pass on this because you just can't seem to get the camera working." Mr. James said.

"It was working when he gave it to me." Beth said, _still_ in the position surprisingly.

"When _who_ gave it to you?" Lisa asked.

"Oh, you know. That guy named Lockhart or something." When everyone heard this reply, some started to yell in rage. Some had screwed up their faces like they could cry any minute. Some were already crying.

"Oh, I should have known it. I should have known it!" Bill wailed.

"_Too_ good to be true, man. Too good, dude." Joe fumed.

"I _really_ hope my mother appreciates this." Dave said.

Mr. James just stood there, dangerous look on his face.

_Man. That's scary._ Catherine thought. Beth finally took the picture after convincing them that she wasn't playing around anymore. The group dispersed as Beth put the camera into her desk drawer.

"Beth. Please. Don't ever do that again." Mr. James said.

"Sorry, sir." said Beth as she looked down. Mr. James reached up and stroked her hair. "Wait! Stop! This is not gonna be a romance episode. Story. Whatever. Alright?" Mr. James shouted to the author.

Well, I am at the keyboard at the moment so you have no say in what story it's going to be. Sorry.

"Look. This is why we don't want you writing stories about us. You make us do things that we would never do." Mr. James said.

I don't know. That looked pretty normal to me. I saw that angry look, though. That was scary.

"Wasn't this a crossover or something?" Matthew asked.

"Matthew, you're fired." Mr. James said.

"Ok." so Matthew left and was replaced by a hippy who has joined the Heck's Angels.

"Fine! Matthew can come back!" Mr. James shouted, about to pass out right there.

"Hi guys!" Matthew said as he was suddenly back.

"Matthew!" all of Cheers and the staff shouted.

"Ok. What are they from?" Lisa asked pointing to the regulars of the bar.

"The X-Files?" Max asked.

"The Simpsons!" Matthew shouted.

"Ok, that's it. Hey, everyone. Let's shun him!" Dwight shouted to which everyone waved their arms down and said "Shun!"

"Um...ok. Shun to you, too." Matthew said as he made the same motion, oblivious to what was happening.

"And where is _he _from?" Lisa asked.

"Sienfeld?" Mr. James tried.

"Hey guys. What's going on?" Jerry suddenly appeared, the others gone.

"_You're _from NewsRadio, right?" Beth asked.

"Well, only that one episode." Jerry said.

"But you actually star in 30 Rock, don't you?" Joe asked.

"Only in that one episode." Jerry replied.

"No. He's from Pokémon." Matthew said.

"Oh my gosh! Mr. James. Could I _please_ take the day off?" Max whined.

"Why? You feeling sick or something?" Jimmy asked.

"Yeah. Sick and tired of this sh-" Max almost got himself dropped from the story when the CSM walked back in with a giant briefcase.

"Ok, good. You're here. Could I see you all in Dave's office?" Mr. James asked. The staff members all crowded into the office. Mr. James closed the door and the blinds. He turned to the others, a never before seen menace in his eyes.

"I want to let you know right now, each and everyone in this office, that if what I am about to show you gets out somehow and I find out, I will do to you what I did to Seth Kerdiss and his family and Sabrina Turnston and _her_ family. Do you hear me?" Everyone cowered a little at the tone of voice Mr. James was speaking in. Lisa was the only one not wetting her pants.

"Let's make a deal. You kill any one of us and I tell everyone about what you just said." she said. Mr. James to the door and turned around, an evil smirk on his face.

"Oh, don't worry. They already know." he said and went out. Everyone stood there until they came to their senses and went after him. When they came out, chairs were set out around a desk where CSM was just setting out all kinds of pictures and what not.

"Ooh. This is just like something from the X-files." Catherine said, excited. Cancer Man stopped and looked up at Catherine.

"Thank you, my good lady!" he cheerfully exclaimed and went back to what he was doing. Catherine only looked confused but got over it. As soon as everything was set up. Mr. James stepped up to the front of the table.

"We have with us today some more-solid-than-rock evidence that I, Jimmy James, am Deep Throat. Now, sit back and prepare your self for one heck of a tale." Mr. James said in the most darkest tone. Everyone was a little scared but interested.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

An FBI agent sat on a desk in her office.

"Hello. I'm Agent Dana Scully. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to work in the field of an FBI agent? Well, now you can find out for yourself. Starting this September, we are offering open positions for interns to come in and get up close and personal with the men and women of the FBI. Contrary to popular beliefs, it is not as hard as some may say. Just ask Agent Fox Mulder." The scene switched to Mulder's face, whose expression clearly said otherwise. Nonetheless, he plastered a very obviously fake smile onto his face.

"Hi! You know, here at the office, if I didn't get paid-" the scene suspiciously switched back to Scully. Could've been from bad editing. I'll never tell.

"See? And if _he _enjoys it that much, then _you _will too!" Scully flashed a grin to the camera. I don't know but _some_thing about that smile said something like "Yikes! We're gonna get sued naked!". The outside of the building, along with the address and phone number and such appeared as an announcer said in a speedy voice:

"Wewill_not_beresponsiblefortheAlienabductions,suddenbodyprosessions, oranyothermentallyscaringeventsthatmayoccur. Otherthenthat,haveagreatday!"

(Fade to Black)

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Frasier sics Eddie on Sam as Finch beats the mess out of Dave. Monica and Rachel has a catfight as Jay squares off against Johnny. Serveral more of these scenes pass when a logo appears:

"NBC 2008! In stores now!"

(Fade to black)

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"So...does anyone still think that I am not Deep Throat?" Everyone looked up at their boss. CSM looked on apologetic as they stared wide mouthed at what could be their worst nightmare. After what they've seen, they would doubt that they would get a good night's sleep. Mr. James smirked as he looked at all of the wide eyes. "What? Are you going to think of me differently now that you've found out?"

"Well...no...it's just..." Dave started.

"It's just what? That little ol' me wouldn't dream of doing any of that?" Mr. James asked mockingly.

"I'm so sorry." the CSM mouthed.

"You all should consider yourself extremely lucky. This is the first time in 15 years that I have told of my secret life. But remember our talk. Yeah, because Seth didn't keep his mouth shut and Sabrina had no right to hear it." Mr. James said. The CSM gasped.

"That was _you_?!" he asked before he could stop himself. Mr. James just looked at him and smiled, patting his shoulder.

"So. Any questions?" he asked. No one wanted to ask because they were too afraid as to what they might learn next. "Alright then. Let's get back to work." Mr. James silently walked into Dave's office and closed the door. Max had finally used the restroom; only it was right in the office.

"I am really sorry you had to see that. I really am." the CSM apologised. Bill had gotten out a cigarette and started to chew on it involuntarily.

"Gee..." was all Matthew could say.

"Wow. And that's the guy who's scared of Hippies." Joe said in a bewildered tone.

"That's the guy who's wiped out half of them." Catherine said.

"My father was a Hippie." Bill said.

"What? Did he stop being one?" Lisa asked. Only the expression on Bill's face made her get up and grab a paddle. Mr. James walked into the office again to grab himself a cup of coffee. Lisa waited until his back was turned to paddle him on the backside. What happened next surprised everyone. No, Jimmy did not hit Lisa. No, he did not swear her out. He did the one thing that controdicted everything about his past: he cried. Everyone stared as the so-called Deep Throat turned into Deep Sob.

"Why did you hit me?!" Mr. James wailed as he rubbed his behind, tears coming down his face.

"I'm sorry, sir. You left me no choice." Lisa said, surprised at the reaction herself.

"Um...he has quite a...a sensitive posterior." The CSM said as he nearly bit down on his cigarette from the shock of the noise.

"That really hurt!" Mr. James shouted. After a few minutes, everyone just sat there and stared as Beth comforted him. Max was, by now, completely waterlogged. Dave tried to think of something to say to break the akward silence.

"Um...Um...Pad's all folks!" Dave said cheerfully. This was a mistake for Mr. James started up again. Beth took him into Dave's office as Lisa hit him upside the head.

"Well...that was something..." The CSM said, still trying to grasp the fact that this was the formor Deep Throat.

"Well, as they say: Don't judge a Dvd by it's cover." Matthew said, earning stares.

"Don't you mean 'Don't judge a _book_ by it's cover'?" Dave asked.

"I don't know. Now, where are my stairs? I'm supposed to get some stairs?" Matthew asked. Everyone just walked out. The CSM just stood there, smoking away...well?

"Well what?" he asked.

Aren't you going to warn people of the dangers of smoking while crushing the pack under your foot?

The CSM stood there for a while and proceeded to laugh his butt off as he left, almost smoking the cigarette in a mocking way.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As the credits rolled, the Author was sitting at the computer typing. A knock at the door prompted him to say "Entree or whatever." The Cigarette Smoking Man opened the door and stood there, cigarette in his mouth as he crossed his arms. "...yes?"

"I think you know why I am here." the CSM said.

"I think not." the Author said.

"Oh, come now. I think you know _very_ well what I'm here for." the CSM pressed on.

"If someone's given you the impression that I can indeed read minds, I'm afraid I'm going to have to tell you otherwise. And by the way, if you're hungry, there's some sort of crazy cheesy tuna noodle thing in the fridge that I am just dying to get rid of. I'm already dying from eating it in the first place" the Author said. The CSM stood there for a moment but got back to why he was there in the first place.

"Look. Can we just stop beating around the bush, here? Oh fine, I'll just tell you. I'm here for a check." the Author looked up at his guest.

"You're here to check what?" the Author asked. The CSM rolled his eyes.

"No. I'm here for the check i.e. my payment for agreeing to star in this asinine work." the CSM said, losing some patience.

"So...you consider my story...asinine?" the Author asked, his fingers poised over the keyboard.

"I'm sorry. I meant utterly inane!" Cancer Man said, a smirk on his face.

"Ah, thank you." the Author said.

"Anyway, so I'll just take my check and I'll be on the way now." the CSM said, moving forward to receive it.

"Um...I wasn't really planing on..._paying_ anybody..." the Author said slowly. He knew what the CSM could do when angry.

"Wait, what?" came another voice from behind him. He moved aside to see Stephen Root in his Jimmy James costume. He looked as if he had a rough time getting in, judging from the ripped clothing.

"Dude, what happened to you?" the Author asked concerned.

"A group of people nearly swallowed me up. It was like they were waiting for me out there." Stephen said.

"Ah, then that must have been the Fans. They must know you're here. I suggest you go out by another route." the Author said.

"Yeah, anyway, so what's this I hear about us not getting paid?" Stephen asked.

"Well, I just wasn't planning on doing that." the Author said as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Well, please consider that while my character is a billionare, I'm just an actor trying to make a living. Please." Stephen said, giving puppy eyes. The Author quickly looked at the CSM.

"And what's your story, Mr. Davis?" he asked.

"...Who?" the CSM asked, looking confused.

"That's funny, Mr. Davis." the Author said, given yet another very confused look from Cancer Man. "Oh..." the Author said, realizing.

"Hey, what's going on up there?! None of us can leave until we wrap this up and I'm already peeved from trying to escape from that increasing crowd outside!" Phil Hartman's voice called from downstairs.

"Hey, Phil. Could you come up here for a sec?" Stephen called while smirking. When the Author heard those footsteps coming up the stairs, he knew trouble was afoot. More like a foot up his backside. Yes, Phil seriously scared him (A/N: Not really. I really like that guy. RIP my friend.). When his face appeared at the door, the Author was just handing Mr. Davis (the CSM grunted) the CSM a check.

"Oh hello. I was just handing out the checks to pay you willing and helpful people." the Author said, giving a really fake laugh.

"Oh good. If it was something else like you deciding _not _to pay us..." Phil said, a decidedly evil tone in his voice.

"Oh no! Not that! _Never_ that!" the Author lied.

"Good." was all Phil said as he took his check and left. Seeing as the credits had stopped, like, ten minutes ago, the Author had decided to wrap things up.

"But...how are we...?" Stephen started.

"Oh yeah." the Author said. He opened a drawer and took out his wand. "Chime." he said as he lazily waved it. They and the fans dissappeared. The Author soon went to sleep, dreaming about being in Yorkshire.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Well, I hope you've enjoyed this. Hey, here an inside tip! This chapter was originally going to be something I typed just for the heck of it but then thought that this would be "quality" material for a chapter of this story. Well, Please let me know what you thought of it! 'til the next!!


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